Whenever tragedy strikes, it is always a wake-up call.

In my last parish, Danielle, a popular high-school junior, committed suicide. Her friends attended the funeral Mass; but over time, many in the youth ministry stopped coming to church. I asked why. They told me it was too painful; it was the last place they had seen her.

The church was no longer a place of peace and comfort in time of suffering for them. What happened to their sense of Christian hope?

Our culture sees little value in suffering. When was the last time we spoke of suffering head on? Can we really expect our kids to live for Christ if they believe that suffering has little or no value? What Jesus did for us on the cross is intimately connected with suffering (see Galatians 2:20). Maybe we youth workers need to reexamine our attitudes and our understanding of the meaning of suffering. If our view of suffering is not healthy, how can we model a true appreciation of the cross?

Jesus’ Ministry and Suffering
At the beginning of His public ministry, Jesus proclaimed, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor” (Luke 4:18, NIV). When Jesus, a realist, said this, He acknowledged that fulfilling His mission would cost Him physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Let’s look at these areas of Jesus’ life and ministry.

Jesus, the man of physical suffering: At the start of His ministry, after baptism, Jesus was driven out into the desert by the Holy Spirit (Luke 4:1). Throughout His ministry, He was in constant demand. He sat in boats to protect Himself because the crowds were so great (Matthew 13:2). He had no place to rest His head (Luke 9:58). In the end, He suffered one of the most horrific deaths imaginable.

Jesus, the man of emotional suffering: Jesus’ response to pain and suffering was to heal, which it appears drained Him physically and emotionally. The gospel was in opposition to the world in which He lived. It must have been heartbreaking for Jesus to see His disciples asleep in Gethsemane (Mark 14:37, 40, 41), to be betrayed and abandoned, and to have Peter deny Him three times. (Matthew 26:75).

Jesus, the man of intellectual suffering: Jesus explained the same message repeatedly to the disciples. He was constantly on His game, for the crowds were constantly on His heels. They were like sheep without a shepherd. He taught them on the mountain and in the plain, by the sea and in the temple. He repeatedly tried to help the authorities understand His mission, but He had to defend Himself.

Jesus, the man of spiritual suffering: After His baptism, Jesus was immediately confronted by Satan (Mark 1:13). In healing, He battled with the results of sin, corruption and death. Many people would not listen. Hear His anguish: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, … how often I have longed to gather your children together … but you were not willing” (Matthew 23:37, NIV). In Gethsemane, Jesus pleaded with the Father to take the cup from Him. He was in such a state of anxiety that He sweated blood (Luke 22:44). And as He hung on the cross, He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34, NIV).

How Did Jesus Understand Suffering?
Does all this mean that we should go looking for suffering to imitate Jesus? No. We don’t have to look for suffering. But as youth workers, we need to live with suffering as Christ did; it will make all the difference in the way we minister to our kids. Here are five insights that may help you develop a healthy attitude and a proper perspective.

• First, Jesus did not look for suffering — it found Him. Satan attacked Him. Some tried to kill Him. The crowds were overwhelmingly demanding and gave Him little time to rest.

• Second, He saw suffering as part of His mission. He lived in obedience to the Father. He battled evil. Wherever He saw suffering, He healed, He taught, He comforted, and He brought hope at His own expense.

• Third, Jesus accepted suffering as a consequence of sin; and so He loved the lonely, the poor and the downtrodden. As the God-man, He loved humanity, accepted its free will, and — with these self-imposed limitations — He did what was possible.

• Fourth, Jesus willingly sacrificed His time, person, needs and wants out of love for others. He had free will; He could have said no, but He didn’t. At some point, He must have made a conscious choice to lovingly sacrifice Himself.

• Fifth, Jesus made suffering blessed through love. Out of obedience to the Father and love for humanity, Jesus’ suffering, as part of creation, was redeemed through His Passion and death. His conscious choice overwhelmed sin and defeated it — and we were liberated. Through His resurrection, He destroyed death, gave us eternal life and restored hope to a fallen world. All of Jesus’ acts of suffering culminated on the cross.

There, sin and death became impotent and suffering became a blessing. In uniting suffering to Himself, He gave human suffering the possibility of being a salvific action.

In reading the Gospels, it is very clear that Jesus’ entire public ministry was heavily interwoven with different forms of suffering. He accepted the suffering that came His way. Thus, on the cross, by linking His suffering to His love, He used His greatest suffering as His greatest gift. Jesus became the archetype of what Pope John Paul II called “The Law of the Gift” — that is, one who finds the fullness of himself by giving himself away out of love.

Youth Workers and Suffering
As Christians, we believe that suffering exists as a consequence of sin. And yet, when suffering strikes, we cry foul. Is this a Christian response? Like the apostles
in Acts 5:41, youth workers are called to suffer for the sake of the Name — in whatever form it takes.

Shortly after we found out about Danielle’s death, we mobilized all the Life Teen leaders. This was at 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday, making the timing difficult. We hung out with groups of kids and parents, spent time at the high school with the administrators and visited Danielle’s family. At 6:00 p.m., at the usual Life Teen Mass, nearly 300 distraught teens attended with their families. We cried, prayed, interceded, hugged and prayed some more. Kids stayed after Mass until past 10:00 p.m. We spent Monday in the school with the kids, teachers and administrators.

The kids weren’t talking, but they kept touching me as they went by. I felt a need to talk but responded to how teens were leading. We attended the wake, spent time in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and stood in the cold and rain for hours with kids who would not leave the place where she died. The funeral on the following Wednesday morning was very difficult for the 500 teenagers in attendance. By Wednesday night, we were physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually exhausted. But the most difficult part was yet to come, and we prayed we would be up for the task.

This was true suffering. We hadn’t looked for it. It found us. But just as the Holy Spirit came upon the apostles, so He came upon us. We gained many insights.

We have learned that it is the suffering in everyday occurrences that can help us find salvation and healing by consciously choosing to love through it. Our everyday suffering is as real as what Christ suffered. Our choice to accept life’s hardships is what we are called to model for our kids. Through a conscious choice, we can join our suffering to His; and like Him, grace will bring salvation and redemption to our kids, our church and our world.

We must willingly choose to suffer physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually when necessary. And the most difficult form of suffering for us may be in allowing our kids to experience their own suffering and not trying to rescue them from it. By being a model for them, they can learn how to make their suffering salvific.

Christ Redeemed Suffering, As Well
Through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, He redeemed all created things. Suffering was included. As He made all things new by His ultimate sacrifice, so He made suffering new, as well. Before Jesus, suffering had no value. Now, by Jesus using His suffering as an act of love, we, too, can use it to bring healing and peace to our community and our kids.

We, as youth workers, need to check our attitudes about suffering and make sure they align with the gospel. If we do not teach our kids a Christian understanding of suffering, we are not preaching the whole gospel. And, to paraphrase a recent commercial to parents against drugs, talk to your kids about suffering — because you are not the only one doing the talking.

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Father Rich Kammerer is the associate pastor and parish youth moderator at Saints Cyril and Methodius Roman Catholic Church in Deer Park, New York.