He is a Christian 15-year-old male who believes he is addicted to pornography. He either senses or blatantly knows his behavior is wrong. He seeks advice and help by declaring his problem to strangers in a Yahoo chat room. The responses are disconcerting. They range from “you will go to hell” to “there is no God you fool” to “you’re a teen boy and what you are experiencing is normal,” to “God wants you to be happy about your life. If pornography brings you excitement in life, don’t feel guilty about it, enjoy it as much as you can,” to “Nobody can keep everything in the Bible and God doesn’t expect you to. Just enjoy your ‘sinful’ hobbies,” and a bunch of other non-encouraging and false teachings.
What does a teen think about himself after he processes these kinds of responses? It certainly can’t be been edifying. My heart bleeds for not only this boy but all teens who are too ashamed to talk to their Christian brothers and sisters and pastors.
Jesus warns us, “Watch out that no one deceives you…Be on your guard” (
Online Media Education: There is a new website Digital Kids Initiative that is dedicated to educating anyone else who longs to love and lead young people about today’s rapidly changing cultural context. The Digital Kids Initiative was developed by the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (CPYU). CPYU provides information, analysis and resources.
Walt Mueller is the president of CPYU. On the website, he identifies media education as a major need in today’s emerging culture. In response CPYU has recently launched the Digital Kids Initiative.
It includes the following elements:
1) Four seminars for parents, youth workers and educators to help them understand the emerging world of media technologies and messages, how media is influencing and shaping their kids and biblically faithful response strategies.
a. Born 2 B Wired
b. Hyper-Connected 24/7: Kids and Social Media
c. Growing Up in Porn Is the Norm World
d. The Digital Brain: Understanding Technology’s Impact on Our Kids
Born 2 B Wired can be presented in either a six-hour, full-day format or an abbreviated 2- to 3-hour seminar. All the other seminars would be presented in a 2- to 3-hour format. Suggested honorariums would be $3,750 for a full-day seminar or $2,000 for a 2- to 3-hour seminar. Travel, lodging and shipping of material costs would be additional.
If somebody is interested in booking a seminar, he or she can contact Clifford Frick at 800.807.CPYU or complete an online speaker request form found here.
2) The website offers a wide selection of articles on the latest research and news; one-page handouts on text acronyms, electronic addiction, social networking, a guide to sexting and cyberbullying, as well as a family covenant of conduct, a fact sheet on texting, an extensive recommended reading list and suggested websites. Other materials including online webinars and tutorials for parents and youth workers are available.
In addition to education, I believe we need to encourage teens to swap a couple hours of online time per day for God time: Bible study and relationship development.
Bible Study: The Bible clearly states, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (
God gives us the power to lay aside deceptive thinking and be renewed in our minds through the truth of his Word (Rom. 12:2;
She admitted she began to think about it less and less as the days passed. In fact, she began to focus on the stories she had heard about all the stalkers and “creepers on Facebook.” That was not quite one year ago. She admitted she only got through it initially because of prayer. Last week in my presence, her dad deleted her account. She was perfectly fine with it. I asked her what she missed about Facebook. “Nothing…the deception and lies…I don’t miss that.”
Relationship development: Teens should be talking about their issues with a trusted friend, youth pastor, mentor or in a small group setting instead of anonymously online. Are we truly making ourselves available to listen to these kids? I believe we need to help teens find real role models from within our own communities. The best role models for teens are those who commit to interacting directly and on a regular basis. A real-life role model can talk to the teen about hopes, values, their worth and the specifics required to help them reach their goals.
More than 75 percent of America’s children say, in addition to family, that friends, teachers, coaches and community leaders are role models.1 Every church and every town has a group of real heroes who would like nothing more than to mentor a teen. Our challenge is to step up and come alongside our teens, to encourage and guide them, helping them become who God created them to be, and seek out other people of character. Mentors are out there and have a passion to reach this generation. Regrettably, they don’t wear a cap or T-shirt that says “Christlike Role Model.”
Kimberly volunteers in youth ministry and outreach. She is the author of four books including Torn Between Two Masters: Encouraging Teens to Live Authentically in a Celebrity-Obsessed World.
1According to the 2008-2009 State of Our Nation’s Youth survey; LiveStrong.com, “Why a Positive Role Model Is Important for Children.”
