We all know friends, pets and even houseplants need care, but what about volunteers? Here, a veteran youth ministry worker provides a short list of ways you can express your care for your volunteers.

Commandment #1
Challenge me spiritually, not only as a leader. Rarely do my peers ask me about my spiritual life. I need a key leader in my life who will challenge me lovingly. Even if it’s not an accountability thing. Now and then, ask me (or have your spouse or another respected samegender leader ask me): What have you been doing in your God-time lately? How has God been speaking to you these days? Are you taking time away from noise to minister to God and allow Him to minister to you? (If I answer no, you should know what to tell me.) How can I encourage you in your walk with Jesus? How can I pray for you this coming week? Under your leadership I want my faith and intimacy with Jesus to grow. I’m responsible to make time for Him, and I’m helped if you encourage me.

Commandment #2
Give me permission to say no. Part of me would say “yes” to everything you ask because I’m loyal, and I enjoy being with students, but I’ll wear out emotionally and physically if this is all I do. When you ask me to be part of one more program, event, or trip, prefacing it with, “You’ve been here for a lot lately, so if you need to say no to this, it’s cool. But would you like to …?” Or, instead of saying, “I need you to …” as if it all hinges on me (I know those communication experts instruct you to say “I need you” in order to make people feel important; but it terrifies some of us because we’re exhausted!), try something affirming, like, “I’d be dumb not to ask you because you’re good at what this involves; but if you can’t, will you help me teach someone else what you know about …?”

Commandment #3
Encourage me to take my breaks before I “need” them. I don’t like throwing down the “nobody’s paying me” card, but sometimes I think you forget I either have a family, a full- or part-time job, other volunteer duties in this church or community, a sanity-saving hobby or a combination of all the above. I’ll be as committed as I can, but I need to know once every few months I can take a night off, that I don’t have to be at every event throughout the year. If I’ve been faithful, I don’t want to have to ask for a break. I want you to tell me to take off because you want me to be whole.

Commandment #4
Use me in my areas of giftedness, not yours. Ask me when you first recruit me what I’m good at and would like to do. I’ll probably be willing to do some things I don’t enjoy sometimes, but you’ll get a lot more mileage out of me when you find out and use what’s in my gift set. You can challenge my weaknesses. However, if I’m not thriving in my strengths, eventually I’ll get discouraged and won’t be the great volunteer you need me to be. Let me know you appreciate and value me as part of your hand-picked team (even if I’m not good at what you’re good at or I’m not your favorite).

Commandment #5
Pray for me by name regularly. Find out what I need prayer for, and let me know you’re praying for me occasionally. It’ll encourage me and tell me you care about me as a person and spiritual sibling, not just a sponsor in your program.

Commandment #6
Tell me how I can pray for you, too. Sometimes I’m not sure how to support you. If you share a couple of specific prayer concerns about the ministry or your life, it makes me feel like I’m blessing you in a powerful way.

Commandment #7
Live by a code of ethics I can respect. Newsflash: I know you’re not perfect. I don’t need you to be. I do need you to be someone I can follow as you follow Christ. Be real without lowering your standards. That way I can follow you “on” and “off duty.” Make me a deal: You won’t embarrass me by doing something to hurt the name of Christ, and I won’t embarrass you by selling the story to The National Enquirer (even though I could use the money because I’m just a volunteer).

Commandment #8
Let me share in the process, not just the execution. I know you’re the top dawg who gets paid to come up with program ideas and dole out responsibilities to volunteers to help execute those ideas. I don’t want your job. I just want to be part of the pre-planning and praying. Bringing me into the process beforehand acknowledges I have a brain, a few ideas and the ability to add quality, fun or both to the program.

Commandment #9
Train me! I want to feel qualified to help in this ministry. Teach me specific skills (like conversing with students (churched and unchurched) facilitating small group discussions, and how to correct a student without being a jerk). Give me unambiguous, helpful feedback about ministry tasks I’ve done. If you don’t feel qualified to train volunteers, buy a youth leader resource from one of those catalogues you’re always getting in the mail and teach from a chapter each month at our leadership meetings. Copy a pertinent article from a magazine and highlight key points for me. Or, pay half the cost to send me to a leadership seminar. You’ll get your money’s worth. (For information on recommended volunteer resources, see Page 50.)

Commandment #10
Remind me why my investment in students matters to Jesus and you. Being needed is overrated. I don’t want to be manipulated or guilted into serving. What I really want to know is that my investment in your ministry has eternal weight. Put in words the spiritual significance of my contribution. Remind me that, while student ministry isn’t the only game in town, the investment in young souls is never a waste. Tell me again and again that there’s always a spiritual “ROI” (return on investment), though we may not see it right away and the little unseen things I do for students matter.

Commandment #11
Come out and play. Plan a connecting time once or twice a year (once a quarter’s even better) with just you and us—your leaders—at which we stuff our faces, tell funny stories, and play together—board games, field games, whatever. Let’s get together with no ministry agenda other than to bond outside youth group. I want to be the best volunteer I can be. Please help me do that. Follow these 11 Commandments, and I’ll stick around longer and do my best to make a difference that matters, and the payoff is sure to be better than any houseplant or goldfish ever could give!