Stop Being Relevant: Keeping Teens in Church May Be Easier than You Think

Kristi had grown up in the typical church youth group. Her student pastor, likely scared silly by statistics about young adult attrition in the church, had done everything he knew how to make his church space relevant. Upon entering, visitors were met with Christian rock music and plunged into a large room lined with televisions and video game consoles.

Kristi told me it looked weirdly familiar to her friend’s basement hangout. In the attempt to relate, the youth group had turned into an entertainment venue trying to attract and keep the attention of teenagers, but it fell flat.

So at age 17, Kristi decided she was done with it. After all these years, she was looking for something deeper. Kristi craved truth, meaning and purpose. No longer content with pizza parties and lock-ins, she longed for a faith with credibility that matched her real-world longings.

As fate would have it, Kristi began dating a committed Mormon. The more she got to know him, the more intrigued she was by his unflinching devotion. She took note of how he went to his local church at 5:30 on weekday mornings to study the Book of Mormon. She was drawn to his commitment and self-sacrifice. His church community demanded much from him, and he was responding.

This stood in stark contrast to anything she had experienced in her pursuit of the same. Kristi hardly had encountered this type of devotion among Christians she had known. As she rhetorically asked me, “Would I rather go to a pizza party or study church history and pursue answers to my deepest spiritual questions?” She was convinced, and today she is a Mormon.

Kristi is similar to many of the students at your church. They may not be on the verge of converting to Mormonism, but they don’t feel their deepest spiritual questions are being answered either. They are taking notice of the overwhelming influence of pop-culture on the church: giant video screens, rock-and-roll worship music and youth group rooms rife with video games. The line between sacred and secular continues to fade and, quite frankly, the secular feels more authentic.

According to a 2007 LifeWay Research study, 70 percent of your church’s students will stop attending church regularly between ages 18 and 22. Young people are flooding out of churches so rapidly that talking about “keeping teens in the church” feels akin to locking the gate of the corral after the cows already have been stolen.

In response to the exodus of young people from church, many student groups have tried to become more hip and cool; but this response is backfiring. The church’s pursuit of relevance created the unintended consequence of dumbing down the call to be Christian. The commercialization of the message has limited, covered up or perhaps even thwarted the deep and penetrating impact the gospel can have on people’s lives.

Simply put, relating to the world by following the world can be a recipe for disappointment and disillusionment.

According to David Wells in The Courage to Be Protestant, “Younger generations who are less impressed by whiz-bang technology, who often see through what is slick and glitzy, and who have been on the receiving end of enough marketing to nauseate them, are as likely to walk away from these oh-so-relevant churches as to walk into them.”

Taken to its logical conclusion, the pursuit of pop-culture relevance creates an endless cycle that removes the church (Christians) from its historically prophetic position in society; but Christians who have grown frustrated with their loss of credibility in the public square see relevance as their method to bridge the gap. They think, “If we can make Christianity cool again, everyone will want in.” Admittedly, every one of us wants to be liked, accepted and respected by our peers—that’s normal. Unfortunately with this view, these Christians overlook the inherent problem in their attempt to relate to culture—trying to be relevant makes them cultural followers, not cultural leaders. It’s a catch-up mentality. The pursuers end up in second, third or fourth place, striving to be in the lead, but never quite getting there.

Of course, we must contextualize our message, and a video game console isn’t inherently evil; but the church must begin offering an alternative way of living and being that stands out in a confused and broken world, not simply copying what it sees. We must stop concerning ourselves with popularity or whether the masses are following and boldly lead people on a mission of restoration. If we can do that, the Kristis of this world just might stick around and join us.