Every week for 20 years, I’ve studied, prepped, and taught students God’s Word. I bring food for thought, prayer, fun, stories, surprises, community builders, provocation, truth, laughter, sugar, and caffeine. I am a teacher.

I was made to teach. I echo Paul: “When I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach” (1 Corinthians 9:16, NIV). I’m fully alive when I teach. In my 20s, I noticed that I loved to teach anything. Whether with guitar, orchestra baton, power tools, book, or Bible, I loved imparting truth and wisdom, had a passion for stretching horizons with ideas, and felt called to help students discover themselves. I still do.

But good gifts and intentions can be corrupted. My teaching has been transformed by facing, confessing, and battling my idolatry in the classroom. God has, slowly and with anguish of ego, revealed my teaching idols: control, influence, ambition, being the brightest star in the room, being funny and clever, pushing for visible results and fast fruit, pigeonholing students, focusing on my desires, and pride.

I’m constantly questioning my motives: Why am I teaching this? What do I want out of it? If I do this, who will benefit most?

For years, I taught what and how I liked best, whether or not it was best for my students. I enjoyed the sound of my voice, my wit, my “wisdom.” Today, I’m seeing my teaching role as primarily about helping students become who they are to be and adjusting my preferences to that end. When I was younger, I valued my uniqueness. These days I treasure and draw out the uniqueness of my students.

Being a strong, “charismatic” teacher is a powerful catalyst. However, my personal confidence, self-awareness, and knowledge of my own spiritual gifts can hinder students’ quiet, fragile, new journeys to discover their gifts and passions.

I’m learning to empower my students and leaders to teach. I’m turning energy and time toward developing the teaching gifts in them. This is hard; and it demands constant vigilance in asking, Is there someone better than me to teach this lesson? The Good News is too large to be told by one person.

I’m easily seduced by the lesson process — plan, prep, deliver — as the source of my teaching power. I beg God for the Word that my students need to hear most, regardless of the planned lesson. I pray that “my message and my [teaching] were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that [their] faith might not rest on [my] wisdom, but on God’s power” (1 Corinthians 2:4-5, NIV).

My teaching of Scripture is made credible by the way I practice it. While teaching often deals with theory and philosophy, how I live out truth remains essential to students accepting the message. “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom” (James 3:13, NIV).

Even after the numerous lessons I’ve taught, I’m still growing up. I’m a good teacher who is being steadily transformed into an instrument God can use better. God is patiently teaching me and helping me grow up. May I do the same for my students.

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Michael Collison currently serves students at Appleton Community Evangelical Free Church in Wisconsin and loves teaching his own four kids at home with his wife, Linda.