The electricity going out because of a thunderstorm only added to the drama. Two intense-looking men with badges and two translators came to question us. They wanted to know who we were, why we were there and what we were doing. They threatened us with prison and fines. They confined us in the small chapel and said they would call each of us—my wife, our entire youth group mission team and me—one by one to a room to be interrogated. Asking our host church leader who they were, the pastor said it could be local, “state” or even the national government officials—even officials connected to the KGB. We were not supposed to proselytize outside church grounds, which we never did.

By now, they were about an hour into questioning my wife in a separate room while we sat in near darkness, each of us waiting to be called. Soon, in the faces of my youth group members, I could see curiosity turn to worry, fear and tears. After all, never in their dreams had they taken seriously my words: that we were going on a mission trip in a potentially dangerous place. At that moment, everything seemed against us.

“Everything is against me.” In Genesis 42:36 (NIV), Jacob exclaims these words in a most difficult and dire situation. As a youth worker, I can relate—somewhat, at least. Difficult parents who “persecute me”; the burdens of my students, which they look to me to solve; balancing family life with ministry; students who never seem to get the gospel; personal burnout from the daily grind—you name it, we all have probably experienced it as youth workers. But sitting in that dark room in the middle of nowhere, faced with the potential of jail, I saw in my students what I am sometimes guilty of as a youth worker. I sometimes focus too much on “me.” And when “me” or “you” is the center of our actions, we slowly move down a path that leads us away from where we find true life and spiritual vibrancy. Jacob, the man who wrestled with God Himself, wasn’t he on this path? Frankly speaking, it is a path we have all been on, or are on now.

In Matthew 14, Peter focused on Jesus and walked on water. At that moment, he was experiencing power, victory and life. Then he noticed the wind and began to sink. When he was focused on Jesus, he was living a miracle. When he focused on all the things that were against him, he began to go down. More Alive in Christ

When I am fixing my eyes on Jesus, when I trust the Lord with all my heart, when I am not focused on “me,” I find I am more alive in Christ. It does not mean that all my ministry problems and discouragements will go away. But it does mean that I have the true vibrancy and life that comes from Christ. I have the strength to walk through problems and discouragements.

When faced with the impeding doom that night, I asked the students to examine their hearts. Sure, we were in a frightening situation. However, I asked them to think about missionaries around the world, people who every day are living under the constant threats of jail and death. And I asked them to focus on Jesus, who laid down His life for them and overcame death. After some time, it was neat to see the fears and tears turn to song. The students broke out into a chorus of praise. We weren’t removed from our situation, but we were ready to face whatever was to come our way next. 

Danny Kwon has been the youth pastor at Yuong Sang Church outside Philadelphia for 13 years and has been on more than 30 short-term missions trips to five continents. He also teaches youth ministry classes at Covenant Theological Seminary.