No one loves or even likes everything you do. I can't think of any setting that I have been in where there hasn't been some form of doubt, skepticism, criticism and disapproval. There is always someone (or a group of people) who plays the part of the contrarian—the person who brings the nonconformist perspective and rejects the majority opinion.

Early on in my ministry years, I took all the criticism personally. If there was a criticism around anything I was doing—whether it was my teaching style, my organizational skills, my eye for the way a brochure was designed, etc.—I took it to heart; I always perceived it as an attack on me. It wasn't until later in my ministry that I realized that ongoing assessment and evaluation was not only good for me but it was good for the overall practice of the ministry. I learned several common and painless practices that have really helped change the way I behave when dealing with disapproval and criticism.

Ask Specific Questions that Clarify the Critique

If you receive criticism similar t "I think you could do a better job informing us parents about the events that are coming up," respond by asking a question or two like, "Can you give me an example of an event you felt you needed more information about?" or "What would be a more helpful way for you to learn about our upcoming activities and events?"

Be Still and Quiet, and Simply Listen

Often we can become defensive quickly. We work hard to do the things we do. We sacrifice much, and we often receive very little. We own our efforts; and that makes us want to defend, protect or explain them. Most of the time, the best thing to do is just listen to the criticism. Listen to it well. Look the critic in the eye or read the e-mail in a calm pace, making sure to pause and reflect on what is being said.

Be Proactive

Instead of waiting for the criticism to come, seek it. Invite it to use for assessment and evaluation. Establish a group of people around you who will give you honest feedback, input and criticism. Seek the feedback and criticism early in all phases or stages of planning. Waiting until a new initiative is ready to launch is not a good time to say, "So, what do you all think?" Rather, make an effort to hear the criticism all through the brainstorming, development, early implementation and execution of a project.

Set objectives. It is imperative that there be a common set of objectives drafted and articulated from the very inception of a new program. If not, then lies the possibility that each person associated with the work might carry his or her own ideas, opinions and preferences as it relates to the execution of the program and, therefore, have a good reason to disapprove of the way the program is being carried out.

Categorize the Criticism

Because I am "in process," I don't always practice the simple remedies above. Often, I find myself going into defense mode too quickly, or wishing I had listened better, or that I had been more proactive or asked my team of critics for their feedback earlier in the process. Sometimes I neglect those simple steps and need a way to sort out my feelings, get back on track, focus more on my work and avoid a future fiasco.