· If you disagree with the opinion of one of your children, are you able to discuss your disagreements peacefully? Do you argue about it?

· How do you handle conflicts with your children?

Response

1. Make a list of issues and concerns pertaining to your children that you are willing to die on. Pick your top three hills. That means everything else is open for negotiation with your children. Make a list of issues open for negotiation.

2. Now you have two lists. Let your children know the issues on which you will not compromise and the issues you are willing to negotiate and how far you are willing to concede.

3. Make certain you and your children know the issues on each list.

Verse

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines exasperate as infuriate, incense, anger, annoy, irritate, madden, enrage, antagonize, provoke, irk, vex, get on someone’s nerves, ruffle someone’s feathers, rub the wrong way, tee off, and to tick off.

Do any of these words describe your interactions with your children?

Ephesians 6:1 commands children to obey their parents. This is a good thing, but just a few verses later, Paul commands fathers (I’ll include mothers, as well) not to exasperate their children.

Many parents only remember the command to obey parents and miss the verse about not frustrating their children. Both verses are important.

Furthermore, Paul contrasts exasperating children with training and instruction in the Lord. He implies that if we are frustrating our children, it will be difficult to train and instruct them. As parents, it’s our responsibility to learn what we may be doing foolishly that exasperates our children.

This reading is excerpted from Al Menconi’s latest book, Reconnect: When Your Kids Are Connected to Everything but You.

Click here for information about the book, including ordering info.