Syler Thomas has been writing YouthWorker Journal‘s “Managing Your Ministry” column for years, so he was our first choice to write a feature for this issue.
There are some days when I feel like I’m completely in a zone in youth ministry. I’m equipping leaders for ministry, working on relevant messages that will challenge and inspire teenagers, and shepherding students through difficult chapters in their lives.
Other days, it feels as if I’m an accountant. Or a babysitter. Or a lion tamer. I’d elaborate on this, but you know what I’m talking about.
Discouragement is the sworn enemy of effective ministry, so keeping you encouraged and in the zone is what’s important.
When I play golf with my dad, on the rare occasion I make a good shot, he’ll say: “That’s the one that’ll bring you back.” In other words, that’s the shot that will make you forget all your bad shots, and motivate you to keep playing golf.
The same is true in youth ministry. As would a frustrated golfer, we spend more time than we’d prefer doing the equivalent of looking for balls lost in the trees when we’d rather be walking the fairways and sinking putts. We can’t avoid all mistakes, but we must do our best to hit enough good shots so that we’ll have the motivation to stay in the game.
I believe it’s the management side of our jobs that runs the risk of derailing us most rapidly. So, based on my own experience, aided by responses gathered from YWJ‘s Facebook page, I offer my insights on the nine key management practices that can help you stay in the zone.
1. Delegate
I remember proudly showing a seminary friend a youth calendar I had spent hours creating. It was filled with all sorts of clever quips and witty flourishes. Not only was he not impressed, but he also took me to task. “Don’t spend your time on the flyers; spend your time investing in people,” he said. “He doesn’t get it,” I thought.
Looking back, I understand what we were both trying to do. I enjoyed the creativity I got to expend on the flyer, but I realized it wasn’t something I could sustain. When there are only so many hours in a day, I need to spend my time on the most important things possible. In that kind of situation, I either should spend less time on it or delegate it to a volunteer.
In your first years at a church, there will be things you simply cannot delegate; but as your time continues there, delegation becomes a do-or-die proposition. One of my mentors gave me great advice in this regard. We must give away much of our ministry—even before we get worn down—so we can preemptively guard against burnout.
There are some things we can’t delegate, of course, and we have to be careful not to over-delegate, or it will be perceived that we are being lazy rather than strategic. However, the general rule of thumb is that youth workers should spend most of our time doing those things that only we can do. If someone else can do it, even if they wouldn’t do it as well as you, delegate it.
2. Write After-Action Reports
Insanity often has been defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Nowhere is this more true than in ministry. Because much of youth ministry involves activities and events that are repeated, we need to be willing to evaluate and improve them so we can get better and better results. Here’s the key: There is no better time than right after you have finished an event to figure out how to make the event better and write it down somewhere.
This is the lifesaver known as the After-Action Report. There are two steps involved: gather and record.
First you want to gather as much feedback from as many people as you possibly can. For instance, if we’re talking about a retreat, start by having students fill out an evaluation at the final meeting of the retreat.
Second, follow up with a debriefing meeting if possible, with either student or adult leaders present or both groups. It’s your job to write down everything you hear, then summarize what has emerged from the feedback.
Why is this so important? Mostly because our short-term memories will fail us. Don’t ever trust yourself when you’re tempted to say, “I’m sure I’ll remember this next year,” because you probably won’t. Or you may remember the gist of it, but not the specifics, which is almost worse.
Where to write it down? I would recommend one of two places: Either create a new folder on your computer or network called After-Action Reports, or write yourself digital notes in a place where you can’t miss them.
For instance, after Winter Retreat 2011 ended, I created a document called Winter Retreat 2012 Notes, and put it in my Winter Retreat 2012 folder on the network. In late December when I’m starting to plan the retreat, I’ll discover that folder (having forgotten that I ever made it) and be so pleased with the bounty of insight I’ve gained. This may sound strange, but it’s like reading a note from the future that was written in the past.
3. Put the Fun Back in Fundraising
Another common theme of frustration that I’ve heard from many youth workers has to do with our responsibility for group fundraising activities. One former youth leader I heard from said: “No one expects a soccer coach or band director to plan, recruit and lead fundraisers, but for some reason, that’s expected of a youth leader. That took up almost 70 percent of my time.” While people in many professions are expected to do some fundraising, many youth workers are surprised by how much time this task can occupy.
I understand this frustration and went through it myself. There was one year when our fundraising activities for our summer mission trips included selling pumpkins, Christmas trees and wreaths, cookie dough and spring flowers. In addition, I also organized a silent auction in the church lobby. There were days when I felt as if all I was doing was counting money, looking at spreadsheets and emailing students to ask them for the money they owed me. I felt as if I was in the Mafia, minus the threats to break people’s legs.
Some youth ministries require a certain amount of fundraising, and there is no getting around it. However, I realized I was running myself ragged, and there wasn’t a significant enough profit for all of that work. At some point, I decided I had to stop the madness.
In my case, I discovered we were able to pull in the most of money from our silent auction and pancake breakfast, so I cancelled all the other fundraisers and now focus all my attention on that one event. I have found two fantastic parents who agreed to run it (see “Delegate” above!), and I do my best to help them. It’s still a ton of work for the weeks leading up to it and the week after; I also know it brings in a lot of money, and then it’s over.
In your case, it might be your annual spaghetti dinner that is the big fundraiser or the pink flamingos on the lawn. Whatever it is, devote all your energy there, and put the onus on the students to use personal support letters for everything else. You have to simplify for the sake of your sanity.
4. Balance and Prioritize
I recently received an email from a friend who is currently in seminary and just had his first child. He asked me: How have you been able to find the balance between family and ministry? The larger question is: How do we balance all of the priorities we have? My answer: by learning the hard way.
You may have noticed that in youth ministry, there is always another task crying for your attention: one more email that could be written, one more event you could get ahead on. In order to survive, you have to come to the point where you’re comfortable with not getting everything done. The best talk I ever heard on this topic was by Andy Stanley, who said it’s his job to love his wife and Jesus’ job to love the church (
It doesn’t mean we don’t work hard, sometimes long hours, for our ministries. Of course, there are real emergencies that come up from time to time that require our attention; but only you can be the spouse and parent your family needs. Sadly, too many families suffer because pastors haven’t figured this out. If you’re single, you still need to establish good boundaries so you don’t burn out.
Five More Practices to Help You Succeed
So how do we make sure we get all the things done that need to get done without burning ourselves out? There is no easy answer, but I’ve found that if we don’t get the small things squared away, it leads to big problems. So here are five quick small things to consider in this regard:
5. Use Tasks in Microsoft Outlook (or similar program) to organize your life. I spent the first few years of ministry with Post-it™ notes everywhere, and that didn’t really cut it. The ability to use the recurrence feature to remind myself of all my weekly, monthly and yearly responsibilities dramatically increased my effectiveness and organization. If you have something that needs to be done (no matter how small), record it, then take a look at your week and figure out which day you can get it done. At the end of the day, look at your list again and reevaluate. Organization goes a long way in prioritizing effectively.
6. Communicate. Try to empty your email inbox at least once a week and return all phone calls by the end of the day. Having lots of unanswered emails and phone calls will frustrate others and weigh you down.
7. Set work/life time boundaries. Get to work on time and leave on time. There’s always something or someone who will keep you from doing this, and I was terrible at it for a long time. The thing that helped me was treating my “time to leave” as though I had to catch a train. People are very forgiving if they know you’ll miss your train, so it should be no different if you’ve promised yourself or your family that you’ll be home at a certain time.
8. Net? Not. Watch out for your time-wasting best frenemy, the Internet. What starts out as ministry work very quickly can become personal surfing.
9. Rest and replenish. Guard your day off. Turn off your cell phone if you need to (especially at night when you go to bed…which seems obvious, but I’m shocked by how many people leave their phones on all night and are awakened by text messages and email). Certainly don’t have your work email sent to your smartphone.
Even pro golfer Phil Mickelson has hit his share of shots into the trees and the water. For you, there always will be days and perhaps weeks or months of frustration. Take these nine practices seriously; before you know it, you’ll forget all about that lion-taming, babysitting, Mafia-type accountant stuff and be back to feeling like the youth worker God made you to be.
