The little boy kept looking behind him as he walked into the library. Although he’d been dropped off at the library at night, he walked confidently until he realized someone else was going into the library right behind him. He wondered who was following him. Though the territory was familiar and the building safe, times have changed. Being aware of where we are and what’s around us is a no-brainer. It’s essential for survival.
We readily understand there is danger in being unaware of our environment. We read the story of Doreen Winkler who saved two men on the subway tracks. When you read the story, you realize hers was an automatic reaction rooted in a reflection-driven awareness. Her strong intervention followed a period of reflection. Before the first man fell on to the subway track, Doreen had been “sitting, waiting…just to collect her thoughts.”1
Surprisingly, I find this same truth operating as we are encouraging students to understand their identities. Helping students understand who they are requires creating space for inner reflection. This space empowers youth to live with awareness, peace and joy, attuned to the Spirit of God. This inner reflection will help them to know and harness their inner thoughts and processes, getting in touch with what is unique about them. This leads to a deeper understanding of how they are developing. Thus, they will cultivate a deeper sense of who they are, their potential and growth.
For many of us, this is a crucial step that we need to take. Youth ministry needs to change the balance in its programming by offering more intentional times for the cultivation of the inner life through reflection. This offers students a way of moving from mindlessness to mindfulness that fosters self-understanding and identity formation.
In The Mindful Brain, Daniel J. Siegel writes, “Being mindful opens the doors not only to being aware of the moment in a fuller way, but by bringing the individual closer to a deep sense of his or her own inner world, it offers the opportunity to enhance compassion and empathy.”2 In other words, by being attentive to what is going on, a person gets more in touch with his or her internal existence, allowing for an increase in sympathy and empathy. This means going beyond a constantly plugged-in state, in which reflection-less, automatic functioning becomes the default. It opens the door for the development of affection and love for God and neighbor as part of identity formation in youth.
The Inner Part: Reflection, the Inner Peace
We expend great energy and resources on physical activities such as games and mission trips. We also teach a lot, allowing only a limited time for deep reflection. This leads to imbalanced development with a lack of integration. Conversely, the teenage years are a time for integration. Siegel writes…
“Without at least some time spent exercising our mindsight circuits focusing on the inner world—of ourselves or others—those circuits won’t remain healthy and strong. To move our lives toward integration, we can’t focus solely on the outside world of physical objects. We need mindsight to develop the integration in our inner lives that cultivates our insight and empathy.”3
Mindsight is about awareness of the mind, self and others. Focus on the inner part, therefore, helps youth understand and absorb the lessons and meanings behind the activities so these in turn become part of who they are.
When we lead youth, we often lead from the wrong script, teaching in a way that runs counter to the way youth need to learn. In doing this, we give very limited time to devotional practices and spiritual disciplines. Too often, there is the cursory quick prayer at the beginning or end. This chips away at identity formation. Too little time for cultivating the inner life results in spiritual deprivation and malformation. Students do not have time to recognize, much less purposefully fill, the spiritual void within. Instead, they take into their newly forming selves the patterns and practices of the shiny promises abounding in their world.
A good example of the wrong script is our often-used profile of the good or Christian youth. We portray the Christian life as one of rewards, or we describe spirituality as a list of rules to follow. Instead of offering students a way to relate to God, we give them checklists to follow. This creates students who are disconnected from who God intended them to be and forms outer selves that are presented publicly and inner selves that live in secret. This script asks young people to lead separated lives that ultimately serve no one.
It is impossible to understand one’s self fully in a space that encourages duplicity rather than authenticity. Give students the space to bring their real selves to God in the presence of God’s people. Do this through reflection, and allow the Holy Spirit’s creative work to form and shape them in due season.
Leading Students Toward Inner Peace: Reflection, the Inner Peace
We must be intentional about building regular reflection into our youth ministries so youth better understand themselves and are formed as whole people. We need to cultivate space in four different areas that will help students develop their identities. Each of these spaces should include silent times.4
Space for Grounding: Teens live very busy, hyperconnected lives. They sleep with their cell phones under their pillows. They leave apps open and multi-task through them all day. It is hard to do deep processing when all of that is happening. This is not a recipe for whole and integrated identity formation.
Providing a space for time out at the beginning, middle or end of youth group, Sunday School or some other gathering can be useful. It could be as simple as a few moments of disconnecting to focus and be aware of their minds, bodies, what is happening in the room and the people who are gathered together. It also could be disconnecting prior to leaving to stop and think about what transpired and what they are taking out with them, what God would have them do in love toward Him and their neighbors.
This space keeps the time in youth ministry from floating in midair, never settling, never contributing to the formation that is happening within the youth. It provides the opportunity for students to be connected beings, grounding themselves as they link between what has been taught and who they are, as well as who they are becoming.
Space for Processing: Providing guided reflection times after teaching and activities is critical for integration. There are various ways to do this. One way is to provide guiding questions for them to discuss among themselves or reflect on individually. To fulfill the purpose, these have to go deep and help extend the lesson to make it practical in the teenagers’ world.
This is also a great time to bring their stories into the picture so they are able to reflect on past actions in the light of God’s story and reflect on how God’s story would have them act in the future. They also examine the effect of their actions on others and vice versa. In this way, you will be giving them tools and helping them train themselves to think before they act and reflect after they act. Siegel reminds us that reflection before acting provides control over our lives. This movement, and the awareness of one’s self are crucial at this time when the desire for reward is a high motivating factor among teens.5
Our students’ world is complex. Modeling and giving practice in integration through deep, guided reflection that incorporates their world into God’s story helps them better understand who they are in both worlds and ways in which they can move to a healthy integration of these worlds.
Space for the Disciplines: Spiritual Disciplines
Enough cannot be said about spiritual disciplines as a means of cultivating the inner life. They are necessary. Jesus set an example with respect to prayer. Matthew 14:236 is one such instance. He was familiar with Scripture. These encourage us to meditate on them. Incorporating spiritual disciplines allows for slowing down, reflecting and meditating, and growing inwardly into Jesus Christ. Additionally, young people are aware of their imperfections, though many people tell them they’re wonderful and everything they do is great. Spiritual disciplines put them in the place to have a greater awareness of God’s grace and more freely receive this grace. In addition, they are more attuned to hear and respond to the Holy Spirit.7
Our lessons must space for the intentional practice of disciplines that form the soul of the student. Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, silent prayer, prayer stations, group prayer and others allow space for students to slow down and interact with God. The “Who am I” question looms very large as students seek to understand themselves and form identity. Allowing space for disciplines in the context of God’s grace gives youth the latitude to be bold, not foolish, knowing their mistakes and missteps are covered by grace; knowing God’s love holds them.
Space for Creativity: Music, art, drama or other creative medium can help youth cultivate their inner lives. Moreover, the arts give teens structure, helps make sense of and reinforces their learning.8 The arts help with creating and articulating mystery and wonder. With the right guidance, it is a theological undertaking and a different way for them to get in touch with their inner selves, God and others.
This is more than singing songs or looking at artwork. Assign an arts project at the beginning of a lesson as an introduction or at the end as a response. You also can have a creative arts session around a specific topic.
When students use the arts, they process differently. By extension, they understand themselves in a different way from a different vantage point. They get in touch with an aspect of themselves that often is suppressed and/or excluded. Yet this aspect enables them to deal with beauty, ambiguity and mystery in life, moving into more harmonious relations with others.
Young people deserve no less than to be guided to cultivate the inner life to live with awareness, peace and joy from a place of inner strength, attuned to the Spirit of God. This happens through reflection, with its various facets. As youth workers, we need to adjust the balance to include more inner aspects that lead to greater self-knowledge and more integrated identity formation. We need to clear the way for youth to know and develop all aspects of themselves and grow in love for God, self and others.
1.”Subway Heroes Honored for Rescuing Man Seconds Before Train Would Have Hit,” CBS New York, Dec. 18, 2012, last accessed March 21, 2014.
2. Daniel J. Siegel, The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being, (New York: W. W. Norton, 2007), 14.
3. Daniel J. Siegel, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, (New York: Penguin, 2013), 82.
4.Claire Smith, “Here Is an Idea for Silent Reflection in Your Youth Ministry,” blog, March 13, 2014.
5. Siegel, Brainstorm, 54.
6. “And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone” (NRSV).
7. Claire Smith, “3 Reasons Reflection Should Be a Part of Your Youth Ministry,” blog, March 11, 2014.
8. Barbara Rich, ed, Neuroeducation: Learning, Arts, and the Brain, Findings and Challenges for Educators and Researchers from the 2009 Johns Hopkins University Summit, (New York: Dana, 2009).
Claire Annelise Smith (Ph.D., Union Presbyterian Seminary) has published devotional material, chapters and articles, presented scholarly papers at professional meetings and co-edited Youth Ministry in a Technological Age. Her passion is creating space so people may know God more.
