In provoking discovery, we bite our tongues. We resist the urge to fill in the blanks, and we trust that God is going to use broken moments in their lives way beyond our time with them. We trust God is going to use broken moments to help them discover who they are, because after all, that's their story.

Fuel

If you are perfectly honest, you probably don't remember many sermons you heard in your early 20s. Sure, God used them at the time, but years later they are gone. At the same time, we remember every single mission trip, service project and person we helped find food or shelter. In hindsight, the experiences—not the sermons—fuel our passion for God and our desires to help others.

As a mentor, the most teachable moments you have are not going to be in coffeehouses and cafés; they will be when you are participating in experiences together. Perhaps you have somewhere or something you already serve; inviting your mentee into the project with you perhaps will be a lifelong memory and life-altering experience for him or her. While conversations about life are extremely important, opportunities to get outside of our problems and lives and serve the community fuel something inside of us. As a mentor, creating those types of experiences is a gift that can lead a student down a path for life.

We have a lot to give people when we know we are not responsible for their stories—only parts of them. As we release the agenda, define our roles in their lives and incite, provoke and fuel, we begin to realize God uses them in our lives as much as we are used in theirs. We have had countless conversations with mentors who continue to lead others, not because they feel they have something to offer, but because of what a college-aged individual offers them.

I hope that's your story. As you take the risk of investing your life into someone else's, God has a way of inciting, provoking and fueling you, too.

Adapted from Chapter 4, "Mentoring Redefined," with permission of David C. Cook publishers.