There is no question there is a disconnect between those who go to church and those who call themselves Christians. According to the American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS), 59 percent of Americans who live in the Western states identify themselves as Christians, while the middle of America, also known as the Bible Belt, boasts a whopping 86 percent of self-identifying Christians. Where the disconnect comes into play is in a NationMaster.com study that shows American's church attendance at 44 percent, suggesting that only slightly more than half of those who profess to be Christian attend church regularly.

Furthermore, while 76 percent of Americans identified as Christian in 2008, that figure is down from 76.7 percent in 2001 and down from 86 percent in 1990. ARIS suggests that "the challenge to Christianity does not come from other religions but from a rejection of all forms of organized religion."

There are many theories about how these findings apply to young people. Part of it is certainly because children of a young age are unable to resist or perhaps are afraid of what might happen if they do resist attending church services with their families. Another popular theory is these children grow up and go to college, where they are bombarded with plenty of things contrary to Christian teachings. These things include, but are not necessarily limited t promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, scientific teachings that are contrary to biblical principles and simply the lack of accountability. When a student goes off to college, there no longer is an authority figure forcing him or her to get up on Sunday mornings, put on presentable clothing and head to church.

So what can churches do to bring back young people who have fallen away from the faith or perhaps never had the faith? One big step is to realize not everyone is willing to be reached. Koestner, who identifies as raised Catholic but not at all religious, said, "Fun youth group activities are great; but again, the devout are in it for the religious experience and the rest are just in it for taking a trip somewhere. Showing warmth and kindness (and pizza or a fun activity) are the best ways to try and relate to young people and see if they can or will embrace your religion. Those who can be reached probably need spiritual guidance in their lives and want to be reached. Those who can't (be reached) have other motives."

This isn't to suggest that it's not good to seek those who don't believe, and bring them to youth group or church, but it's not uncommon for young people to go through the motions in order to reap the benefits of free pizza, youth gatherings far away from home and other things that might not be available to them through any other outlets.

Koestner digs into another good point about showing youths love, something Haugen (who identifies as a Christian) mentioned, also. She felt as though kids are bombarded enough in the course of the day that they just need to hear, "It's not how much you study. It's (about) how much you love—not just (loving) God, but everyone around you.

Gonzalez tends to agree, suggesting that youths avoid church "because their mentality is to party and have a good time; and church groups obviously are viewed as boring, strict and controlling." It isn't difficult to see Gonzalez's point. Youths have long thought of church as boring, with a list of rules to be followed as do's and don'ts. Churches haven't exactly done a great job drawing in these young people, resorting to antiquated slogans such as "The Bible is your Best TV Guide." As long as churches stay one step behind popular culture, these steps only will drive youth further away from the church rather than fulfill the intended goal.

So what are the steps to regaining unchurched youth? A Barna Group article dated Oct. 8, 2007, lists some very good steps for what teenagers look for in a church. The article lists spiritual footprints as expectations for a teen in choosing his or her church. This would be to suggest that the teenagers look to corporate worship and prayer as something they desire in their church experience. Another item in the article was the spiritual expectations of the teenagers. Among the things most highly sought by the teens were to worship or more closely connect with God, to learn more about what they believe and to spend time with close friends. Toward the end of the list were discovering the traditions of their faith, participating in a class about faith and studying the Bible. The last three items appeared on the lists of fewer than 20 percent of those who participated in the study.