Taking Action

If we're the adult who's contacted, we must remember it's now up to us to do something about it. The government has been running a string of very effective ads encouraging students to take action about a friend's drug problem, and taking this information to a responsible adult is sometimes the best a student can do.

You've become that responsible adult. Failure to act at this point is simply unacceptable.

If you're looking for additional resources related to combating drug use, the best ones I've come across are the government's anti-drug Web sites, one for parents and one for students. It also would be a good idea to develop a list of counselors in the area to whom you can refer interested parties.

Dealing with Rumors

Rumors are a sticky issue, because we just don't know when they're true and when they're not. I hear statements such as, "Everybody knows Tammy smokes pot every weekend." My response is, "Have you or one of Tammy's friends talked to her about it?" If someone is genuinely concerned about Tammy, then that concern should lead the person to ascertain the rumor's authenticity.

We can cause more problems by taking every rumor at face value and taking action based on it. If the rumor isn't true and you call Tammy's parents, they get upset and Tammy gets in trouble for no reason. This also teaches students two lessons you don't want to teach: 1) Sharing rumors with the youth pastor gets the naughty kids in trouble; and 2) If the youth pastor confronts their peers, they don't have to.

When Confidentiality Must Be Broken

There are times when the gray area becomes black and white. In such a situation, swift action must be taken. For instance, if you're certain that a student has moved beyond experimentation and is using an illegal drug regularly or engaging in the sale of drugs, parents should be notified. In this situation, depending on your relationship with the student, you may want to let him or he rknow you're going to the parents, especially if they're likely to find out anyway. Or you could offer the student 24 hours to tell the parents. Or offer to go to the parents together.

If a student's talking seriously about taking his or her own life, it's also time for action. Remember that parents always will forgive you for erring on the side of caution.

In the case of a student who you know or strongly suspect is suffering abuse by the parents, huddle with a trusted church leader who can help you report it. Defending the defenseless must be a priority.

Unfortunately, there are few hard and fast rules. Crisis situations are complicated and must be navigated with prayer, wisdom and the help of trusted advisers. Though one of the most important parts of the job of a youth worker, it's also one of the least tidy.