2. Family ministry for the nuclear family. There are some who believe family ministry means transferring youth ministry discipleship "back into the family where it's always belonged." (This view tends to see youth ministry as ultimately usurping parental authority, and the church's role as training and equipping parents to be better disciples of their own kids!) Some adherents of this view see youth ministry as necessary only when and if it's a supporting entity for the sake of parents; they often push for youth ministry to take a far less active role in the students' lives and become organizers of training events and fellowship activities where families can connect in a local church context.

In terms of traditional youth ministry, this view of family ministry is, needless to say, fairly radical. Taken to the extreme, the idea that families can replace youth groups ignores the developmental necessity for peer relationships and interaction—especially in high school, where today's student is navigating the ever-changing landscape of mid-adolescence. If kids aren't encouraged to connect with peers at church, then they will find other outlets one way or another. Also, this concept implicitly denies the impact of nonparental mentors (i.e., youth workers).

Strengthening and encouraging the nuclear family wherever we can is something youth ministry must take seriously, but to ask that families retreat to an isolated and independently focused mode of discipleship goes a bit too far.

3. Church as family ministry. In my view, the youth ministry world needs to pay attention to this perspective. It focuses on the idea that the church is called to be "a family of families" (Dennis Guernsey, New Design for Family Ministry), where it's everybody's responsibility to care for everybody. Jesus calls those who follow Him "brothers" (Matt. 23:8), and Paul makes reference to the "family of believers" (Gal. 6:10) and that all believers are members of "God's household" (Eph. 2:19). Family ministry, it would appear, refers to a commitment of the entire church to be relationally and programmatically connect to the diverse people and ministries in the church.

The church-as-family ministry mindset most directly impacts traditional ways of thinking about youth ministry. For too long, youth ministry has been seen as a separate, hands-off program—creating its own purpose statement and strategic plan, its own checkbook and lay leadership, and its own way of doing ministry. What may have worked programmatically in the past may not be the best way for us to do things as we enter a new millennium.

Is Anybody Really Doing Church-as-Family Ministry?

Many churches and youth staffs are moving in this direction. Some are rethinking everything they do, and others are simply being more sensitive and open to parents and congregations. The biggest, most crucial step, though, is youth workers simply allowing the idea to seep into their hearts and minds—seeing parents as partners instead of nuisances, for example.