The problem had started so simply, but Maya's teacher couldn't understand why she was being so obstinate. Maya had talked out of turn and been asked to apologize. Maya respectfully apologized with her head down. She was asked to look up and do it again "respectfully." Confused, she apologized again, but respectfully did not look at her teacher. The simple problem erupted into a showdown.

Maya was taught that looking someone in the eye meant social equality. You only look your peers in the eye. You'd never look directly at an authority figure when being disciplined unless specifically asked to do so. The teacher didn't verbalize her desire to have her own cultural standard upheld (you're being deceived or mocked without eye contact), and Maya tried to be respectful the way she'd been taught.

There's a type of communication that seems as new to many people as e-mail and instant messaging was a few years ag cross-cultural communication. It's been said that 11 a.m. on Sunday morning was once the most segregated time in America. While a majority of churches still can be considered Korean, Latino, White, etc. (and these congregations are powerful resources within communities), a few churches are cropping up that are intentionally multicultural. These churches are adding a new dimension to the way we worship and the complexity of youth ministry.

Yet even multicultural congregations rarely translate into multicultural leadership. Therefore, what seems to be a new type of communication is formed.

Multicultural Issues

Cross-cultural communication involves international and domestic multiculturalism. It's a sticky and confusing situation that frustrates some, because it seems to elicit more questions than answers. Many fear that reasons turn into excuses if kids are allowed to use their cultural backgrounds to explain away difficult situations, but the great benefit comes from being aware of the complexity of cross-cultural exchange so we better can relate to those God has placed within our spheres of influence.

There are a plethora of paradoxes inherent in multicultural communication. You must speak to everyone the same while you must speak to everyone differently. Culture isn't a person's identity, but culture shapes a person's identity. Everyone is the same, yet everyone is different. The biggest kicker is that all of these paradoxes come into play even if you have a homogenous youth group. All Asian, Black, Latino, etc. kids don't all think alike any more than all Caucasian kids think alike.

Can I stop the Black section of my youth group from self-segregating? That's another article, but what helped this Black, West Indian farm girl when she was asked to teach and work with White suburban American youth, African youth and urban African-American youth was internalizing a few multicultural basics.

Ethnocentricity

First, I had to deal with my own ethnocentricity—the belief that one's cultural identity is superior to others or the belief that one's cultural upbringing sets appropriate standards by which all others should be measured. In a free society, we live within a particular existence because it works for us (and even if it doesn't, we're conditioned to believe that it does). It's easy to think our cultural norm is the scale by which all else should be compared. So, anyone who has a different way of doing things isn't just different, but weird. So, first I needed to deal with my notion of reality and what was normal.