DON'T—I'm also discovering I can't have best days with former students who are still in the youth ministry. In other words, if I move from a church, youth ministry teens are pretty much off-limits. With the decision to leave comes the responsibility to back-off relationally so new leaders can establish themselves.

I've personally experienced this in two different ways during the past few years. First, I left a church in Omaha (where I served for almost eight years) about two years ago. I left well. The youth ministry was fully equipped with paid and volunteer staff, which meant no new person would come in to replace me. So, as far as leadership transitions go, it was pretty seamless. Yet moving was still emotional. Even though the leadership baton was passed to an established team, students needed time to connect with this team in a new way. If I stayed in contact with students, I'd sabotage what God had built and wanted to build. My responsibility was to let go.

I also experienced the need to back off after another move just a year later. I moved from Omaha to a church in Chicago and it wasn't a good fit. The fit had little to do with the church or students and tons to do with me and what God was doing in my life. Within a year, I sensed God releasing me into another ministry. Yet this quick release, in many ways, made the move harder. To make matters even more difficult, I frequently travel back to the town where this church is located. There's a temptation to contact students with whom I connected during my short tenure to see how they're doing. Yet this would be extremely unfair for the youth ministry team at this church. Again, my responsibility is to let go.

DO—I'm also discovering the most strategic post-youth ministry relationships I can develop are with former students pursuing (or already in) ministry. Because I've lived the path they're walking—Bible college, internships, financial concerns, questions about how ministry effects a spouse, choosing a church, issues with senior pastors—I can help them navigate the journey. Because my life is about investing in God's kingdom by impacting students, multiplying what God does in my life into the lives of next generation youth workers just makes sense.

DON'T—I'm learning not to equate an occasional deposit in a life as an investment. Kathy and I have former students visit us from time to time; some even stay at our house during their vacations. We consider this a great honor and try to make deposits in their lives while they're with us; but investments, by definition, require consistent, ongoing deposits. So, out of the many contacts we have with former students, we only consider a handful investment-level relationships.

The Best Days Are Still Ahead

My commitment to youth ministry is as strong as ever. Student ministry is in my blood. By nature, I'm drawn to teenagers.

While I continue to grapple with the significance behind my recent best-days discovery, I'm convinced God will grant me opportunities for greater impact. What's more, I believe the term veteran, at least for me, doesn't mean inching closer to retirement, but means my best days will become even better.