So when Travis asked me to perform the ceremony, I asked a few questions. Once I discovered his fiancée was not following Christ, I was in a difficult situation. Do I hold to my convictions and run the risk of offending a friend? I prayed, restudied biblical texts and explained my convictions to Travis. He was disappointed (as was I), but understanding.

So why do I consider these my best ministry days with Travis? I'm disappointed in Travis' decision, but I'm also incredibly grateful he trusts me enough to open up to me, even though he knew I'd be disappointed. When he first asked me to perform his wedding ceremony (via e-mail), I could tell something wasn't right. When it took more than a month for him to respond to my return e-mail, I knew he was wrestling with something and contemplating whether or not to let me into his world. He finally did, and now we're engaged in extremely significant interaction. I challenge him. He challenges me. We both end up encouraging one another. What an opportunity to walk through the stuff of real life with a youth group kid!

Kathy and I are having Travis and his fiancée over for dinner to get to know her, as well as share why I'm not performing the ceremony (We were willing to do pre-marital counseling, but neither their schedules nor ours permit it, so we're trying to help them line up counseling with someone else.). Sure, getting together will be awkward; and no, we aren't trying to pressure her to accept Christ. We simply want to start our relationship with them in an honest, loving manner. Jesus spoke truth in love; we want to do the same.

I have numerous other best-days stories from this past year. Aaron's father died suddenly, and a few weeks later his first child was born. I've had the opportunity to talk with him about both experiences. The conversations have been difficult and delightful, but they authentically revolved around the stuff of life, which makes them best day experiences.

Best Days Do's and Don'ts

So what am I learning as I process these new best days? Here are a few insights, not from an expert, but from a fellow journeyman:

DO—I'm discovering I can and should contact former students who I highly regarded when they were in high school. Let's face it, we relate to some students easier than others; and when they're in youth ministry, we must be careful of playing favorites. Once students become former students, they're just that—former students. At the same time, we become peers who just happen to be their former youth workers. In our new role, there are no official expectations or responsibilities. So as peers, we can pick and choose with whom we hang. This is not to say we're free to ignore former students; it just means we have more freedom in choosing with whom to spend our time.

I've found this clarity especially helpful. When coming back to Atlanta where I had a former ministry, I've felt the freedom to initiate contact with some former students and not initiate contact with others. While I might bump into numerous students from time to time, I'm at liberty only to pursue those God puts on my heart.