The very idea of partnering with parents in youth ministry sounds daunting to some of us. For others, it conjures up images of past experiences when parents asked us way too many questions about an activity, did everything they could to destroy a fun idea we had or just plain did not want to participate in the work we were trying to do with their kids. With everything that youth workers are doing in efforts to build relationships with youth, partnering with parents easily can be put on the back burner.

Others of us have seen the benefits of working with parents. We have seen how having coffee with them has led them to trust in us. We've seen how their offers to bring free food to youth group have helped our budgets and made the youth happier. We've even seen some parents become incredible youth leaders; and we've sat in awe, wondering how they always know what to do when a youth needs their help.

The fact is, we need parents; and their kids need them.

As youth workers, we have to see that encouraging the deepening of familial relationships as a central part of the ministry we do. The difficulty of this work has to be embraced, because research repeatedly has affirmed that parents are the most influential people in the lives of our youth. This means we must partner together and join our voices as we talk to teens about theology, sexuality, recreation, self-worth, spiritual disciplines and more.

Parents need to know what we are teaching their young people, and we need to know what they are saying to their children. A few years ago, I decided I needed to be doing more to partner with parents. Most of the students in the youth group I directed did not have parents who went to our church. I came up with an idea that would help me introduce youth leaders to parents, connect families, cast the vision for youth ministry for that year to parents and get parents to participate in our youth ministry.

I called it the Family Banquet. Here's how it worked:

Planning and Execution

Each year in October--close to the beginning of the school year, so our youth ministry team could cast the vision for the "new year" in youth ministry--we sent fliers to the homes of youth and e-mailed the flier directly to parents.

The flier one year stated: "COME. EAT GOOD FOOD WITH US. LAUGH WITH US. BRING YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. MEET THE PEOPLE WHO HANG OUT WITH YOUR KIDS ON SUNDAY NIGHTS. (We're actually pretty cool.)"

The Family Banquet always had a theme, such as "Hoedown," "Superheroes" and "Back to the 50's."  The youth leaders and youth committee always dressed up, and we encouraged youth and families to do the same. Each year, more and more people participated. I used a portion of my youth budget to host it so the event would be free for the attendees. However, I put a bowl on the banquet table for donations if anyone felt so inclined.

The tables were large enough so two or three families could sit together and parents could connect with other parents.