Our kids are no different than the people in Jesus’ day. They have no shortage of answers to life’s most important questions at their fingertips. What often is missing is a deep, personal connection to the Answer who could impact their daily lives. In order to help our students better connect with Jesus, as opposed to downloading answers in Sunday School, we need to change the way we are teaching.

First, we need to learn how to be part of the conversation with our students. I have seen a world of difference between teaching my students versus engaging them in a conversation. Suddenly, the dazed looks on their faces are fading; I can see their minds processing data more deeply than before. They ask questions and engage in topics instead of regurgitating answers.

Second, we need to be authentic with our students when engaging them in conversation. They don’t need us to be super-Christians who make having a relationship with Jesus look impossible. They need adults who will walk through life with them, willingly being open and honest about their lives—the good, the bad and the ugly.

Third, we need to learn a phrase I have borrowed from my senior pastor: I don’t know. Sometimes we take difficult questions about God and make them seem easy to answer when they aren’t. By doing this, we minimize the mystery and greatness of God, to which our students are drawn. Being honest about the things we struggle to understand provides a great opportunity for discipleship as we revisit the issue with our students and search for clarity together.

Fourth, another phrase we need to learn is: What does everyone else think? I have found this does two things: It helps other volunteer leaders feel like they are contributing to the group, and it helps students engage in the conversation, which helps them feel important and meaningful within the group. Asking this also will leave you surprised about what you will learn about God, faith and the Bible from your students.

Fifth, we need to challenge the answers. When you are talking about a subject, don’t go into the conversation presenting only your church’s “correct” theological answer. Instead, contradict the “right” answer and play Devil’s Advocate by asking a lot of questions. Use passages that seem to contradict one another (i.e., free will vs. predestination) or that seem out of date (Leviticus). Challenging the answers helps students really think about what they believe and profess.

Sixth, we need to leave our students hanging sometimes. When your conversation is nearing an end, resist the urge to reveal which answer is “right.” Challenge them to keep wrestling with the issue. Give them weekly Scripture readings to help them continue the learning process at home. Suggest books, articles and Web sites that will drive them deeper. Teach parents how to carry on these conversations outside of youth group.

We cannot continue to fill our students’ heads with answers and hope they make it in college and beyond because of the sound theology they received. We need to shift our methods to encourage them to go deeper into a conversation with Jesus and Scripture.

In the end, some of our students will disagree with us, but at least those who are on the same page will know why they are. They will have owned their own decisions because they went through a process to form those beliefs.By changing the way we engage our students, they will graduate with a deeper understanding of their relationship with Christ and how His Word affects the way they live. This will lead to better apologetics, better Christian living and more evangelism because students will have more than pat answers. They will have Jesus—the best thing we can give them.