YWJ: How does stress affect leaders?

Larry: Stress affects us physically and robs us emotionally. Stress takes away so much of who we are. If we don’t manage stress, it’s going to take us places we never thought we would get to, including burnout, depression, doubt and moral failure.

Henry: If leaders are out of control of their time and energy, then everything else begins to suffer. They’re putting everything out, but they’re not getting the results they expect. There’s a proverb that says, “A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul.” Accomplished desire is like the tree of life; it gives off more life, and the next day you have more energy; but hope deferred makes the heart sick.

YWJ: What are some of the major stressors in the lives of youth workers?

Larry: One aspect that is huge in ministry is the level of expectations people have of us. The danger is that we eventually begin to own those expectations. We try to fix everyone and everything; and we begin to neglect our own needs, our families and our relationship with the Lord. Another stressor is our own identity. If we really don’t know who we are in Christ, then we fall into traps such as performance, perfectionism and fear of rejection.

Henry: Whenever you talk about major stressors, it’s got to be people. If we’re not in control of ourselves in key relationships, the relationships begin to control us. Young leaders haven’t been in it long enough to learn that being nice and trying to motivate people is not enough. Sometimes you also have to have firm boundaries, clear expectations and hard conversations. When we depend on people who aren’t faithful, or who aren’t good stewards of their time and energy, then that becomes a great source of stress for young leaders. Leaders get into trouble because they’re not just doing the things only they can do, but they’re also doing things others should be doing.

YWJ: Some youth workers claim they can handle, or even master, stress. Is that valid?

Larry: Some stress occasionally motivates us, but you are deceiving yourself if you think stress is a good thing you can handle.

Anne: Stress management is highly important. That doesn’t mean you are tough enough to handle everything that comes your way. That is self-reliance and is diametrically opposed to what the Bible teaches. Stress management would be having enough self-awareness, insight and initiative to know when you need to step away.

Henry: Hopefully, we can get to a place where we’re doing this. Where this statement has problems is that people think they can get the high that comes from being busy and overwhelmed. They don’t realize all that activity isn’t producing what they want to produce, and it’s keeping them from facing problems. If they’re not facing the underlying problems, then they’re not going to master stress at all. It’ll master them.