For example, the day I interviewed Susan, her hands were intentionally covered with paint, a situation that normally would cause her to wash them repeatedly. Instead, Susan forced herself to leave the paint on her hands in order to expose her behavior and learn how to deal with it effectively.

Therapy and exposures are teaching Susan how to function in her daily life and manage her disease. “I use all the coping skills I learned in therapy every single day,” Susan said.

What’s the Youth Pastor’s Role?

Just as Susan has had to learn how to manage her disease, as her youth pastor, I, too, have had to learn about this disease and how I can best support Susan and her family as they face it. Here are some of the things I’ve learned.

First, in order to support students with mental health illnesses, as well as their families, youth workers must understand these illnesses are real diseases, with real symptoms and real treatments. As Susan’s father, Dan, said, “We make these illnesses worse when we, as a church, say they’re not real.”

Because of the stigmas and shame often associated with mental health illnesses, many people who suffer from them feel alone. As a result, one of the biggest things youth workers can do for students and families who are struggling with mental health illnesses is to help them find community. Connect parents and students with others who are struggling with the same issues. Then give them a safe place to discuss the disease honestly and how it’s affecting various facets of their lives, including their faith.

“I was in such a hell before,” Susan said. “I don’t know why a loving God would let me go through this. Even though I’m strong enough to work through this, I would NOT choose this for myself. I can’t see a purpose in this.”

Never trivialize such feelings from students or their families. Instead, help students understand it’s OK for them to experience any emotion, even doubt and anger; and they can ask you and God anything, even questions like, “Why did God create me like this?” and “Why me? This isn’t fair!”

To help students further process their emotions, encourage them to keep a journal. Promise them you never will read it without their permission, but you’ll be happy to read anything they want to share with you. Such an invitation may spark conversations that otherwise may not have occurred.

Even before you know a student has one of these illnesses, take time to get to know local counselors and therapists. Develop relationships with them so that when the time comes, you confidently can refer families in need. Learn about these illnesses by attending classes at local hospitals or behavioral health centers. Pass on what you learn to other volunteers and students in order to teach them about mental health illnesses and how to care for those who face them.