The organization’s leaders were noticing a disturbing trend among students attending its summer camps. Sexual incidents seemed to be growing edgier and students more brazen. It seemed there was a loss of innocence. Gone was modesty’s healthy blush.

Our discussions naturally turned to the youth leaders–staff and volunteers—who have been called to lead and serve young people and spend countless hours caring for, and ministering to, them.

These leaders deal with a host of issues: teen crushes; the allure of power and being in a position of trust; questions about vulnerability. Too frequently they find themselves in potentially questionable circumstances because, as they sometimes say, they had no other option!

How could we evaluate the challenges these young leaders face every day in their ministry and personal lives? What could we do to make sure incidents of sexual failure remained infrequent? We reviewed the ministry’s policies on sexual misconduct, which were already clear about sexual issues. (Many organizations, ministries and businesses now have compulsory standards and policies that spell out discipline for viewing pornography on company computers and other infractions. If your church or organization does not have such policies, you need to address this now!)

We also discussed the fact leaders who struggle with sexual sin often do so privately and secretly. My experience shows that if these battles are not dealt with honestly, our effectiveness as youth leaders is jeopardized. We lose the ability to impact the generation of students who have had their sexual boundaries blurred. If we desire to influence students to have healthy sexual boundaries, we must strive for the same in our own lives.

The organization I work with has sought to incorporate grace in its approach and practice restoration whenever possible with staff members who acknowledge and address sexual challenges. Training for all new employees also is provided, including a thorough discussion about how to maintain healthy boundaries in ministry and life.

Finding Freedom

I have worked with hundreds of men and women who have struggled with hidden desires and sexual secrets. Do you face similar struggles? There is a way out. It will take work and support. May I suggest the following practical steps?

1) Connect with Community

Find a community in which you are able to share your story, where others also will share theirs. Such community must be authentic, transparent and safe. If you cannot find one, create one.

Many cities now have 12-step programs that are helpful and supportive for those struggling with sexual sin and addiction. These groups will provide opportunity for sobriety—another word for ceasing the behavior, healing (James 5:13-16) and intimacy with God, your spouse and others.

A professor once told me people who go to their graves with secrets should be pitied. His statement was meant to be a call for each of us to strive to live in community, to live as if there is no such thing as a secret—to know and to be known.

2) Study

Read books on the topic of sexual addiction and recovery.

3) Connect to God

Be engaged in a lifestyle of praise and worship, forgiveness and reconciliation, fasting and prayer.

4) Get Help

Seek counseling. Find a counselor who specializes in the area of sexual addiction. All of us are challenged by the sexual epidemic that is raging in our world, but I am hopeful. I am encouraged by organizations that are being proactiveand facing these issues directly.

We cannot face this epidemic alone. We need each other in this battle. I want to encourage you. Christ promises a hope and a future. If you are struggling silently with these issues, be honest and begin the journey home today.