For a decade my job description has been “counselor,” but in reality I am the keeper of people’s secrets and their stories.

When youth workers and other people talk to me, it is like confession, which we’ve all heard is good for the soul. All people need a place where they can share their hearts, a place where their souls can open. It has been said we are only as sick as our secrets.

Like other counselors, I have the privilege of knowing and sharing in the struggles of others. Most of the time, the stories people tell me stay in my office. As a counselor, confidentiality is foundational.

There are times when legal lines are crossed and people in leadership wind up getting caught, turned in or reported for a sexual crime:

Like the camp counselor who coerced the teen boys in his cabin to participate in a form of sexual hazing, provoking them to undress and engage in a naked wet towel fight, creating a traumatic environment of shame and abuse; or the young man who sexually assaulted his sleeping male roommate as the two traveled in Europe; or the youth pastor who crossed all moral and legal boundaries by sexually touching one of his female students. He now faces felony sexual assault charges and may receive jail time and mandatory registration as a sexual offender for life.

It is naive for the rest of us to believe we never will find ourselves in extreme situations like these simply because we are more cautious or make better choices. Sexual temptations surround those who work in ministry.

An Epidemic of Sexual Addiction

I work with men and women–youth workers from all types of ministries and churches–who need to recover from online sex addiction, which is the real sexual epidemic of our age.

The use of the Internet for sexual gratification and emotional medication is what takes most leaders out of service. Many have struggled for a long time to find freedom, promising to stop, praying like crazy, but still, they’re unsuccessful. They are left to lead with a tarnished voice.

Youth leaders face a variety of issues, and many of the significant ones are sexual. Too frequently I hear of situations where sexual sin and bad choices result in the discipline or firing of yet another leader.

A friend of mine, a church planter in Florida, recently e-mailed me, saying, “They are dropping like flies,” referring to the number of ministry leaders in his city who have been caught in sexual sin.

Another friend asked if the current data on sexually acting-out behavior could be considered an epidemic. According to the dictionary definition (an uncontrollably generalized condition, or affecting many over a large area) then the answer is a resounding, “Yes.”

A Proactive Approach

Several years ago I was invited to think through these issues by the leadership of an international student ministry organization that serves a million adolescents worldwide every year.