Stress and depression is a growing problem for college students, and many experts are blaming parents who are too engaged with their kids.

According to a 2013 American College Health Association survey of 100,000 college students, more than 84 percent said they felt overwhelmed by the work; more than half felt overwhelming anxiety; and 8 percent had contemplated suicide.

Julie Lythcott-Haims believes a big chunk of that anxiety comes from parental expectations. In her book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, she writes, “In my years as dean, I heard plenty of stories from college students who believed they had to study science (or medicine or engineering) just as they’d had to play piano, do community service for Africa, and, and, and…I talked with kids completely uninterested in the items on their own résumés. Some shrugged off any right to be bothered by their own lack of interest in what they were working on, saying, ‘My parents know what’s best for me.'” (Slate)