2) Stop Enablers

Parents who promote underage drinking—no matter how pure they think their motives might be—not only are contributing to the problem but dabbling in some very dangerous territory. These parents willingly and sometimes naively play the role of adult enabler, not only by encouraging and facilitating underage drinking but by pulling the trigger for the kids who genetically are predisposed for alcoholism. I've seen it happen.

Consider this: Data indicates that about 80 percent of adults who are receiving alcohol treatment reported they first became intoxicated before the age of 18. In addition, teenagers who begin drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to develop a dependence on alcohol than those who began drinking at the legal age of 21. 

3) Act Responsibly

My immediate response to my youth worker friend was to encourage him to act on his knowledge. Serving his God, honoring the clueless parents of the kids in his youth group and loving and serving those kids required him to intervene and speak up. As a matter of immediate importance, he needed to confront lovingly the parents hosting the party, communicating clearly not only why he was doing so but also the ethical dilemma his knowledge placed him in, along with what he would do if they carried out their plan.

My guess was that a gentle and caring nudge might convince them to change their plans. I also recommended that if the plans didn't change, he had a responsibility to other parents—a responsibility to inform them of what was being planned, as well as offer a healthier alternative activity for those who wished to opt out of the party.

4) Educate Openly

We must talk openly with our kids about all the issues related to alcohol abuse. They need to learn the facts about the physical damage alcohol abuse can do to their developing brains. We must teach them God has given them the responsibility to obey the authority and laws of the government.

Take the time to read and study Romans 13:1-3, 6-7 with your kids. We must help them learn how to deconstruct and discern the strategies alcohol marketers use to engage them, sell product and shape their worldview. We should study what Scripture says about drunkenness in passages such as Proverbs 23:20-21, 1 Corinthians 5:11, Galatians 5:19-21, Ephesians 5:18 and I Thessalonians 5:5-8. We must discuss the spiritual nature of the problems and yearnings that lead kids to drink, looking together at Scripture for God's answers to those deeper problems of the heart. Finally, we must provide a compelling, godly example of attitudes and behaviors concerning alcohol for our kids. For some of us, that means we will choose to abstain; God will lead others to model a healthy example of alcohol consumption.

Respond Well

Through the years, I've asked several former teenage alcohol abusers to write down their stories. I've also heard and lived with the stories of kids and young adults who still are struggling with alcohol addiction. The stories are all gut-wrenching. On average, abuse began during the middle school years. Sometimes it was parents—concerned parents who thought they were doing the kids a favor—who offered and poured the first drink. Many were alcoholics by the time they were in high school.

When asked why they turned to drugs and alcohol, the reasons varied; but one common thread has been the struggle with the difficult and confusing years of adolescence. Another thread has been parents who were detached, absent or overly permissive.

These realities should combine with our youth ministry calling to issue clear-cut marching orders. Our response should be marked by an overwhelming desire to glorify God, convey biblical balance, speak the truth and a willingness to confront others when necessary in order to foster a deep love for our kids.