Carrie needed money for college, but she couldn’t ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit. She came to youth ministry camp to care for teenage girls and quickly found herself in crisis. Things were going well with her campers, until Wednesday night. One girl had asked to speak with Carrie before lights out, but when it came time to talk, Carrie received a note instead. The camper apologized and told the counselor she couldn’t talk, but asked if she would read a letter. As Carrie sat alone reading, she had no idea how deeply the contents would impact her. The note explained in graphic detail how this precious girl had been violated by a man in her life. Carrie felt frozen to the floor as she read, unable to make sense of the horrific images. She knew things like this happened, but not to anyone she had ever cared for.

She wanted to put the letter down, but felt an obligation to read, to somehow be present with this young woman in her pain. She felt rage rising slowly in her throat, and she fought to keep the satisfying temptation of hatred from hijacking her sensibilities.  This was supposed to be a wonderful week at camp, discipling a few girls in the name of Jesus, but witnessing a violation had altered Carrie’s experience. Discipleship had brought her face to face with the best and the worst of the human condition, leaving her feeling guilty about her own violent feelings toward the perpetrator and helpless as a caregiver. As we sat and talked, Carrie was confused, and she had urgent questions. How could the God she had come to love and trust allow one of his own children to suffer such pain? Furthermore, if God is good, why would any child suffer? Carrie was learning what very few ever consider before getting involved: Discipleship can be painful.

Like Carrie, many who engage in discipleship are not trained therapists or clergy; they’re just people who love God and are willing to share their faith and life with another person. Before we commit to a discipling relationship, we might think about the time it will take, or we might be nervous about our lack of biblical knowledge, but how many of us stop to think about the way in which we might be changed, as we walk soul-to-soul with another human-being? Empathy is powerful. Caring builds trust and creates a safe context for honesty. We hope God will use our relationship to bring to the surface issues that need to be confessed or perhaps spoken for the first time. Like this young woman at camp, many people carry the weight of secret violation and the discipling relationship creates the perfect context for disclosure, release, and healing. In addition, many suffer the trauma of life experiences in the present – news of a loved one with cancer, a still- born child, a father with a brain injury, a suicidal teenager. Facing trauma in discipleship is not only about witnessing past violation, but may also involve shocking losses in the present.

Hundreds of years ago, Solomon wrote, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Prov. 17:22).  Trauma is a weight that threatens to crush the spirit and dry the bones of anyone it touches. As Carrie’s spirit was being crushed by this new information, she needed help. Thankfully the leadership team of the camp was able to respond appropriately to the camper and the counselor, to address the crushing weight of traumatic stress. But what about us? How can we recognize the influence of traumatic stress in our own lives? How can we remain healthy so we can give our best in discipleship?