[Jesus] pressed them, “And how about you? Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter said, “You’re the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus came back, “God bless you, Simon, son of Jonah! You didn’t get that answer out of books or from teachers. My Father in heaven, God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I’m going to tell you who you are, really are.” —Matthew 16:15-18a, The Message

I love this passage of Scripture. I am confident Jesus was not wondering about who He was. But I believe His willingness to thoughtfully engage in one of the deepest questions of humanity grants each of us permission to ask the same question. So following Jesus’ spirit and example, I have been asking, “Who do you say I am, Jesus?”

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As I have wrestled with the complicated realities surrounding such a question, I have realized that living out of my truest identity is one of the greatest ways I can love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. But I have also real­ized that committing myself to living out of my truest identity is one of the most difficult and complicated decisions I will ever make.

Many of us have built wardrobes full of false identities we’ve become too com­fortable in wearing. To enroll in the School of the Soul will require a cleaning of the closet. To become the unique you God has created you to be is one of the greatest and most challenging quests of your life. But there is only one you, and no one else can ever play the unique role God has designed for you alone.

Even though there are not PPPA (Performers, Pleasers & Protectors Anonymous) meetings all over the coun­try, there are lots of Performers and Pleasers and Protectors who are dying to get out of the cycle of the empty selves in which they are living. What’s even more alarming to me is just how many of us are in youth ministry.

Perhaps it’s because our youth groups were the first safe place where our gifts were encouraged and used for good. Or maybe it’s because each of these roles is rooted in some good quality that becomes distorted.

For example, we all have a desire for encouragement and affirmation. But maybe we find that our once-healthy long­ing for affirmation has started to turn des­perate, and we’ve grown into Performers.

Youth ministry is also a place where there are lots of needs. Very few youth ministries have the luxury of turning volunteers away. Many of us got involved with youth ministry because we love to help and pitch in toward a good cause. But that noble and pure desire to serve God and others can sometimes sour. As we learn how to meet needs and keep others satisfied, the Pleaser is born.

Youth ministry can also be a place where we are affirmed as we are. Such acceptance is a good thing. But when no one challenges us, when no one pushes us to risk, we can fall into the false comfort of being a Protector.

Youth ministries are overflowing with Performers, Pleasers and Protectors—from the paid professional to the volunteer small-group leader to the parent opening her home and paying for the pizza. PPPs are everywhere, but most of us are mas­ters at camouflaging our addictions amidst lots of spiritual activity.

What follows are my own non-clinical and non-Webster’s Dictionary definitions

Many of us have built wardrobes full of false identities we’ve become too comfortable in wearing.