Sex is not a mere physical act. It is not for selfish pleasure. Sex is for a mystical union between man and woman that demonstrates God’s very nature. Sex is sacred! When we treat sex as a commodity, we turn the sacred into filth and debase our own humanity.

Helping Teens Counter a Sexualized Culture

How can our influence possibly match the massive influence of an entire cul­ture? Changing our students’ sexual atti­tudes and behaviors seems like an almost impossible task. But we can rescue our teens from the corrupt influences around them if we begin talking openly and hon­estly about sexuality.

Give them a reason to be pure. We don’t have to blast them with a fire-and­-brimstone lecture, but, rather, draw them in with a gentle conversation about the true nature of gender and sexuality. Then they receive hope that their sexual­ity truly has deep purpose and value.

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As we open up conversations about sex, what reasons should we give stu­dents for safeguarding their sexuality until marriage? They already know about disease, pregnancy and God’s com­mand. But stronger motivations lie in the sacred beauty of God’s design. Even His commands for purity rest on this won­derful foundation. We can encourage them to protect their sexuality because it’s a precious gift of intimacy that belongs to their spouses and their God.

When teens learn that their sexuality is precious, they begin to see the sur­rounding influences for what they are— pathetic impersonations of the real. They realize they have been pimped. Like Hosea’s prostitute wife, they’ve been lured by a hyper-sexualized culture into trading love for cheap gain. And they begin to see how lust sins against God by turning a human being into an object to be consumed. With a godly view of sex, they become immune to the corrosive effects of sexualization.

Be open with your life. Intimacy grows as we begin sharing our own strug­gles with sexuality, even our ongoing efforts to discover what it means to be man or woman. In that openness, students discover that youth leaders are human and that their confusion isn’t a surprise to us.

Students who are in bondage to sexual sin need us to walk with them through it. Unemotional lectures and weak account­ability won’t cut it. They are desperate for spiritual mothers and fathers who aren’t afraid to enter into the mess of their lives. What an opportunity to bless them and to challenge them towards godliness!

See sexual issues as a doorway to the soul. As we work with them, we become sensitive to the deeper issues that often drive sexual behavior. Many teens face crushing insecurity, loneliness, pain and broken family situations. They uncon­sciously use pornography or sexual encounters to temporarily numb the pain.

When they come to us with sexual struggles, it is certainly important to help them pursue purity. But it is often even more important to address what is lying beneath the surface. Otherwise, we risk teaching them sin management rather than true spirituality. Sexual struggle is often a window into their souls, a key opportunity to minister to their deep areas of brokenness and prompt a revolu­tion of the heart.