I pray that you can keep these needs in mind in your own youth ministry.

With notebook in hand, I went on tour for two weeks with 65 guys, ages 18 to 22, who were members of the Azusa Pacific University Men’s Chorale. I was working on my book, Teenage Guys, but I also wanted to engage in a firsthand experience of being “one of the guys” 24 hours a day.

I wanted to gain insight from their perspectives, cultural imprints, ideals, behaviors, values, biases, norms, conceptions, and day-by-day interactions that cause them to struggle with what it means to be God-honoring men. My experiences on that trip, along with my research, helped me identify the 10 needs guys have:

1. Guys need to be known and understood. We need to know them better than they know themselves. We need to know how they develop; what cultural influences are bombarding their lives and identities; how they think and feel; we need to know their fears and joys. We must know about adolescence and masculinity if we really want to meet this need in guys.

2. Guys need a close connection to God. Spirituality and masculinity are a lot like oil and water. It’s difficult to get them to mix unless one or both are refined. Despite this daunting task, guys have a very deep internal spiritual sensitivity. It grows out of an instilled desire to know their Creator. Guys must taste for themselves and see that God is good.

3. Guys need validation and empowerment as unique individuals. We must be very careful not to pigeonhole a guy. Labels can make him feel as though he isn’t a man or he cannot become one. To make one issue “every guy’s battle” or journey or need robs him of his uniqueness. It also makes him a freak of nature if he isn’t like every other guy. We need to understand there’s no universal type of guy, but there may be commonalities. And we need to empower them to be all that God is making them to be.

4. Guys need community. Guys are clan-oriented. They bond and form intimate relationships differently than girls. They need multigenerational community. Within that community, they need the closeness of other men who act as a compass for their manhood. In the context of community, they can see there are many different ways that men are men. If they cannot be intimate with the masculine on a tangible level, then they can never become intimate with an invisible God whom they perceive as being predominantly masculine in nature.

5. Guys need mentors. All throughout Scripture we see older men who come alongside younger men as mentors. David comes alongside Samuel and Jonathan. Paul comes alongside Timothy. Jesus comes alongside his 12 disciples. Mentors proclaim to guys that they’re valuable and worthy of  investment. A mentor pushes the protégé into the presence of God.