The single most important issue we must address in youth ministry is identity formation. The reason? It’s the single most important issue in a teenager’s life. The place they land now, in terms of their understanding of themselves, will determine who they are for the rest of their lives.

Every teenager chooses to find identity in something and it’s not just teenagers—it’s the most important issue for all of us.

Recently, I asked a room full of youth workers to imagine what it’s like to live in teenagers’ skin developmentally. I told half of the room to assume the identity of a 14-year-old boy. The other half became 12-year-old girls. After jokingly telling them to keep their hands off each other, I lowered the lights and played “Shut Up and Drive” by talented pop star Rhianna—at 19 still a teenager herself. When the lights came on I asked the “teens” in the room what the song taught them about “themselves.”

The girls learned how important it is to have a slim body and to wear clothing that shows off that body. They learned that being a “girl gone wild” isn’t a bad thing; it’s maybe the normal thing. They learned they had power over guys and could boss the guys around—particularly when it comes to relating to each other sexually. The boys learned their identity lies in their sexuality, that girls are to be viewed as objects no different than a car, and that they hold the keys to those “cars” in their hands. One “girl” said, “I want to be Rhianna. She’s got it all!”

“California” 24/7

The adolescent search for identity isn’t anything new. Having grown up in the 1960s, I remember people stereotyping confused teenagers as being on a quest to “find themselves.” Back then, the stereotype had the befuddled adolescent hopping into an old VW bus and heading west to California.

Times have changed. Today, “California” comes to students 24/7. The digital and media revolution has created a world where identity-shaping institutions and their messages live everywhere all the time.

In a perfect world, all of our teenagers would understand themselves and find their identity in who they are as unique individuals created in the image of God for a relationship with Him, but we don’t live in perfect world. Life in a fallen world presents kids with two options: either finding one’s identity in Christ, or choosing to find identity in something else, which is idolatry.

American Idols

Our kids embrace idolatry when they base their value, worth and identity on someone or something other than God. That’s why we always should want to know who’s sending identity messages, what those messages are and how kids are embracing those messages. To undo the wrong with the right, we first must know and understand the wrong that’s being embraced so we can challenge that wrong with the right.