“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
Perhaps the most famous opening line Charles Dickens ever penned in A Tale of Two Cities speaks to a truth which could have come out of a book geared toward youth ministry. Any one moment, any one experience, can have us praising God for the work He is doing and at the same time leave us wondering whether or not we are called to youth ministry. It is like the agony of seeing a student take a step forward in his or her walk with the Lord, only to take two steps backwards. We are left wondering what happened.
This experience happened to me while I was working in the public high-school system in which my church was based. I applied for the job because I wanted to experience the environment in which the youth I was serving spent the majority of their adolescent life during the week. Also, the job was working with the students for a maximum of four hours a week; hence, it would not be a huge burden on my schedule. The experience has been invaluable, but at the same time it had its moments of total frustration.
Once upon a day…
I was approached by one of my youth with an unusual request during our regular Sunday night youth group. She wanted to know which days I worked at school because her boyfriend needed to talk with someone about some issues going on in his life. Apparently she had suggested he talk with me. Sam (not his real name) and I arranged to meet through Sarah, my youth, after school one day when I was done working in the classroom.
The conversation began awkwardly as Sam thought Sarah told me about the issues he was facing. As Sam opened up and we delved deeper, he mentioned he was struggling with the concepts of God in which he had been immersed. These concepts of God did not fit well with his experiences of God in his life. We finished talking, and Sam left for football practice. I sat on the bench watching him leave. I was frustrated because I wanted to close in prayer but had decided not to because we were on school grounds.
The Value of Prayer
A foundational principle for how I approach youth ministry is that no two situations are ever exactly alike. Each student is unique, meaning no matter what the situation I never assume I know precisely how to handle it. Following this premise I have always tried my best to create guidelines so I never walk into a situation unprepared.
One of those guidelines is always to spend time in prayer. Whether I open with it, close with it, let youth lead, or whatever, I always make sure to pray because prayer is one of the most basic and essential gifts we can offer our youth. Paul told the Thessalonians we should pray “without ceasing” (
Wearing More than One Hat
I broke my guideline because I knew I was in dual roles at the moment. Yes, I was and am a youth pastor called by God to work with youth; however, I was also an employee of the school, talking with a student on school property surrounded by numerous students, parents and teachers. I could have offered to pray with him, but I would have violated the rule that prohibits a school employee leading youth in prayer. If a youth initiates and wants to pray, that’s fine, but I could not initiate a time of prayer.
After our conversation I kicked myself on the drive home because I felt like I had prioritized the school’s standards over God’s calling. I returned home disgusted with my actions. Inside, I wrestled with whether or not I had let school become an idol. I thought of various Christians throughout history who had stood up to religious injustices.
Prayer in schools has become a touchy issue that has people riled up on both sides. Should I join the ranks of those who think the public school system has overstepped its boundaries in limiting when a person can express his or her religious beliefs? Youth ministry is known for its times of rebelling against the traditional systems, but I didn’t feel this was the right answer.
Over time, through prayer and discussion with peers, I realized I had been putting God in a box. God is more than one-dimensional. God doesn’t require me to pray for Him to work inside Sam’s life. Working in the school system opened up so many opportunities to build relationships with youth and the teachers. However, I could have easily destroyed the trust placed in me as an employee of the school if I had decided to violate the school’s policy. The simple fact was that I was wearing two hats, the hat of a youth pastor and a tutor. I did not have to take off my youth pastor hat to serve as a tutor; although, I did need to realize my role as a tutor narrowed my options in how I could respond in the situation.
An Act of Humility
We and teachers are two sides of the same coin. We both struggle with numbers and statistics. Teachers are expected to make sure every student is ready to perform well on standardized tests whether the student is doing the work or not. Youth workers are expected to increase the numbers of youth group members. Both are limited on help. A small group for teachers is considered to be 20 to 30 students. We are always in desperate need of more volunteers. The word money needs no explanation to those in both professions.
Like our desire to have more volunteers working with our youth, teachers and schools are in need of adults who care and are willing to give their time to help students learn. It is an opportunity to open more doors for God, but it is an opportunity which requires us to approach it with humility. We have to be willing to set aside our roles as youth workers and become willing servants, investing time in building relationships and earning trust.
Serving in public schools cannot be a means to an end. Our goal in the classroom or cafeteria should not be a public promotion of our ministries. We would be no better than the Pharisees and other religious leaders Jesus had issue with in His day. When Jesus met with the woman at the well in
The bottom line is that if we want to reach our students and build a bridge into our culture, there is no faster way to start than aiding those who care about our youth just as much as we do. Are we called to pray? Most definitely! Are we called to make disciples? Without a doubt! Are we called to serve? Perhaps no other commandment is affirmed more throughout Scripture. Just maybe some of the antagonism which has been created between Christianity and the public school system can be relieved if we are willing to take on the role of a servant.
