On a Wednesday afternoon late last summer, a startling news story popped up on my phone. It was another in an ongoing string of stories about the Ashley Madison website hack, the revelation of who had accounts and the heartache that follows in the wide and devastating wake that follows a simple decision to indulge our dark sides. A few weeks before, the news had broken that professing Christian and reality TV star Joshua Duggar was an Ashley Madison account holder. Duggar was one of a reported more than 30 million people who had accounts on the spousal cheating website that has adopted the tagline, “Life is short. Have an affair.” This time, however, it was the story about the suicide of popular New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS) professor John Gibson that lit up the national news outlets and hit home.

For starters, this story involved another Christian brother, a reality that should remind us that we are all vulnerable to the temptations thrown at us by the world, the flesh and the devil. While living in a relationship with Jesus Christ releases us from the eternal consequences of our sin, we still struggle mightily with our sin natures. In Romans 7, the apostle Paul confessed his state as a wretched man and wondered aloud about who would release him from the war within. Yes, we all struggle with sin. We are all, indeed, broken people.

I was reminded of this reality and how it rears its ugly head in our youth ministry world a couple of years ago when I was putting the final touches on a training seminar for young youth workers. Titled “Wisdom for a Young Youth Worker,” the seminar was my attempt to challenge young youth workers to avoid some of the mistakes I had made early in my own youth ministry journey. While looking for some photos of youth workers, I Googled the term youth pastor. I was stunned to see that about 20 percent of the images that popped up at the time were mug shots of our peers.

The day after the news broke about John Gibson’s suicide, my good friend and NOBTS youth ministry professor Dr. Allen Jackson, posted an article from the Washington Post about Gibson’s suicide on his Facebook page. Allen wrote, “Our friends Christi, Callie and Trey make much of Jesus.” Christi is John Gibson’s widow. Callie and Trey are his children. Allen and his family live across the street from the Gibsons, and they are extremely close friends. The article was well-written and moving, clearly citing the hope of the gospel that is ours in Christ, the Savior who is the only One (Paul reminds us in Rom. 7) who can deliver us from our sin-natured bodies of death.

Later that day, Allen called me. We talked for quite a while about how John Gibson’s story should spark all youth workers earnestly to seek and develop vulnerable and deep accountability with other believers. We chatted about our own need for accountability, the need of all men and women for accountability, and the special need that young youth workers we know and love have for accountability, especially because they are launching their ministries in a narcissistic, image-conscious, hypersexualized culture that discourages opening ourselves up for any kind of examination.

At Allen’s urging, I carved out an hour to watch John Gibson’s memorial service on YouTube. I especially was moved by the words spoken by John’s college-aged son, Trey. His spiritual and emotional maturity shines (You can and should watch Trey’s remarks at 29:35 in the video.) as he challenges people to recognize and address, rather than hide, their brokenness. In addition, Allen issued a moving challenge to all of us. (You can and should watch Allen’s remarks at 40:55 in the video.) Allen movingly reminded the crowd, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Prov. 27:7). Allen also said that John Gibson’s lack of vulnerability and honesty regarding this dark corner of his life derailed the kind of sharpening that he and his good friend John should have had. After listening to Allen’s words, I couldn’t help but think how important it is for each of us in youth ministry to keep digging deep in our closest friendships. I also sensed a need to encourage youth workers to listen to and heed Allen Jackson’s wisdom.

I don’t think it was any coincidence that on the same day I was watching that memorial service my mail included a review copy of an important new book from InterVarsity Press, Unburdened: The Christian Leader’s Path to Sexual Integrity by Michael Todd Wilson—certainly a timely release when we think about what’s happening in our culture. When I quickly glanced at the table of contents, I noticed that in the latter half of the book, Wilson lays out a list of five disciplines in which we need to engage on the path to sexual integrity. Not surprisingly, one of those disciplines is The Discipline of Intimate Relationships. That’s what Trey and Allen are talking about: intimate vulnerability and accountability marked by gut-wrenching honesty that might make us horribly uncomfortable but also could save us from ourselves.

The writer of Ecclesiastes said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble (Ecc. 4:9-10).

Adversity and the history of those who have encountered adversity are powerful teachers. Perhaps our youth ministry world should ponder this story of adversity and then learn. To think that we are invulnerable or to tell ourselves the lie, “I never would do such as thing!” is…well, that’s the first step on the road to disaster.

What are your hidden areas of deepest vulnerability? Where do you struggle? Who knows about it besides you?